1. “Yeah, that’s Jaeger you can smell”
Drink driving still counts if you’re a learner driver, so no, you’re not allowed to go on a driving lesson if you’ve been on the Jaeger. So our advice here is NOT to not tell your instructor, it’s to not get on the booze before a driving lesson… you lunatic.
2. “Did you see my friend request on Facebook?”
Now this isn’t an acceptable question to ever ask anyone. As if it’s not strange enough that you’ve added your driving instructor on Facebook, they’ve obviously ignored it, so it’s probably just time to let it go.
3. “My mum wants to know if you’d like to come in for a cup of tea”
No. Stop right there. Your mum may have indeed invited him in for a friendly cup of tea, but think of the awkward small talk that’s about to happen. Tell your mum that they politely declined and get yourself right out of that situation.
4. “Have you ever heard of Tinder?”
We shouldn’t really have to tell you this, but there’s a time and a place and this just isn’t it.
5. “I think I met your son once”
Context is everything here. If you met their son as children at your local park, all clear. If you met him on the aforementioned romancing app, stay well away from that conversation… and the son.
6. “What’s the middle one for?”
This is OK if you’re asking on your first lesson, but once you’ve had a couple of hours of driving, you really need to be knowing where the brake pedal is.
7. “But first, let me take a selfie”
A) they might not know what a selfie is and b) you can’t taking selfies while driving. If you really do insist on taking a (parked up) driving lesson selfie, be polite enough to get your instructor involved.
8. “What do you mean you’re outside my house?”
If you book driving lessons, you better make sure you don’t forget about them. Realising your driving instructor is outside your house when you’re not there, or worse, in the bath or asleep, is an absolute nightmare for everyone involved.
9. “Sorry that text wasn’t for you…”
This is more a case of being something you never want to HAVE to say, but if you’ve sent your driving instructor a text telling him/her you can’t wait to see them in those new pants, you’re going to have to explain yourself some how. You could try denying it completely, or pretending that you were the victim of a cruel prank, but the damage is probably already done.
10. “Car? What car?”
Thankfully, your driving instructor has dual controls, but you still need to be able to see cars coming towards you. It will kind of help with the whole being able to drive thing.
11. “I’ve made this CD for us to listen to”
Firstly, your driving lessons aren’t supposed to be an opportunity for you to get your musical freak on, and secondly, making a CD for your driving instructor is a bit weird. Maybe just stick to the polite chit chat.
12. “That’s not the way my dad teaches it”
No offence to your dad, but, unless he’s actually a driving instructor, he’s probably not the best person to give you parallel parking advice. Now, we all know dads are expert parkers, but the way he does it probably isn’t going to get you through your test.
13. “Is that the gear stick?”
If it’s not, you’re in trouble.