You should never find yourself in the position where you have to make one, but a speeding ticket seems to be the perfect opportunity to come up with a ridiculous excuse. From the classic (and actually believable) ‘my wife is in labour’, to the man who claimed he was, himself, the pregnant one, there have been many, many terrible reasons given for speeding. Here are just a few of them for your own amusement.
1. Too much information
After one man was pulled over for speeding, he told the policeman that he was breaking the speed limit because “the box says ‘if you have an erection for over 4 hours, see your doctor IMMEDIATELY!’”. There’s only one way to find out whether that’s true, we guess…
2. ‘My car just goes this fast’
To the lady who told a policeman that her accelerator was broken and that that’s just how fast her car went, that is probably another law you’re breaking there.
3. The Maccy D’s breakfast rush
We’ve all been there – turning up to McDonalds at 10:31am, only to find you’ve missed your chance for a McMuffin is quite frankly devastating. But is it a valid excuse to break the speed limit? The man caught doing 71mph in a 50mph zone seemed to think so.
4. When honesty isn’t the best policy
After a 17 year old got pulled over for speeding, he simply looked the officer in the eye and said he was speeding “because I’m just all kinds of stupid”.
5. If in doubt, make a joke about doughnuts
It’s a well-known stereotype that police officers in America are partial to the odd doghnut… but that doesn’t mean you can get out of a speeding ticket by cracking a pastry based joke. When asked why he was going so fast, one US man told the cop “there’s half price doughnuts down the road and I was clearing the way for you”.
6. Out of this world
When a policeman was asked whether a solar eruption could cause a speed radar gun to break, he had to gently explain to her that no, her son is just a boy racer.
7. The beginner
If there’s one way to make sure you don’t pass your driving test any time soon, it’s to get caught speeding before you’ve even finished your driving lessons. The learner told police that he was speeding because he didn’t want to get caught driving unaccompanied on his provisional. Right, so you thought you’d just add speeding to the list of offences then?
8. How to keep two women happy
After a man was caught doing 64mph in a 30mph zone, you would think no excuse was good enough to get him off the hook. Well, you’d have thought wrong, because a UK court let him keep his driving licence as he was struggling to commute between his two wives.
9. Going to great lengths
In 2005, a woman flew to Bulgaria just to convince police that neither she or her husband were driving their car when it was caught breaking the speed limit twice. Unfortunately for her, the police didn’t believe them – and she ended up paying the fines, the air fayres and taking the points.
10. A bad day for Fergie
Way back in the 90s, Sir Alex Ferguson was caught driving illegally on the hard shoulder of the motorway. His excuse? He had severe diarrhoea and needed to get to a toilet pronto.
11. ‘I was going downhill’
There’s a brake on your car too you know!
12. Or simply, ‘I’ve just won the lottery’
A 22 year old US man was caught going 49mph in a 35mph zone earlier this year, but the policeman certainly didn’t expect the reason he gave for breaking the limit. He had just won $50k on the lottery and was on the way to collect his winnings. The police officer sent him on his way with a warning.